Shoutblog! Yorkshire's queer blog

Red Issue - Shock Horror, world exclusive - footballers involved in gay sex scandal

Yet more indications of how little attitudes have changed. The News of the World reveals that some premiership footballers have had some gay sex. Now, if that was the end of it, I'd just think that it was the usual gossip much loved of the tabloids, but the whole tone of the article reveals the way the paper thinks - and expects its readers to think. According to the paper:

The players - one capped several times for England - were caught on camera cavorting with a pal well known in the music industry in a homosexual orgy that will shock soccer...

...In the astonishing pictures, Player A ... shoves a mobile down his boxers. He performs a sex act with it which is too obscene to be described here. The Player B calls his number to make the phone vibrate. Player A is also pictured on the bed while Player B - a multi-million pound goal-scoring mid-fielder - kneels to perform oral sex on him.

Quite what is so astonishing about men having sex? And, assuming the mobile phone was stuck up Player A's arse, why is this 'too obscene' to be described? Would they have the same prurience if a woman had used a mobile this way?

The following week brought more revelations, in similarly outraged tones:

"I went back to a player's house with two other stars after we'd been drinking one night," said our source. "The player whose house it was went to his bedroom and came back with five grand in cash, threw it on the table and said: ‘Who will suck my ****?'"

The star—who performed oral sex on Player B mentioned last week—was glad to oblige.

"He did it for just under a minute and everyone was cheering," said our source.

Our source also revealed a THIRD perverted session in which a player openly pleasured himself in front of another star in a hotel room—again after a booze-up. "He had to stop suddenly when room service arrived," said our source.

So there you go. Man puts cock in mouth (for, oooh, nearly a minute!). Shock horror. And another wanks in a 'perverted' session. Just how vanilla does our sex life have to be before we can avoid being branded 'perverted'.

Still, the paper is keen to reassure us that England's finest examples of manhood are not really gay.

"...None of the stars were really gay.
"They see this as just messing around,"
"Of course people outside of their world are going to think what the hell is going on?" said our source. "But this happens all the time in football.
"I've been at parties where it happens. There is also a game where one person has to put their **** in another's mouth but without touching them.
"But they're not gay. It's normal for some of them to do this."

Hmmm... Well it's nice that the NotW thinks that for some men it's normal to suck cock. I agree entirely. Although frankly I think it's more fun if you do it for more than the footballer's 'nearly a minute'. In fact, if that was as much as they did, they're probably right that they're not gay.

Glad we've cleared that one up.